Recently, I was given the opportunity to attend an important conference. Well, let me tell you, being in a luxurious room and in a big comfortable bed brought about a great night’s sleep that I hadn’t seen in six years. I thought this experience would be perfect for this week’s Satisfying Sunday post.
As I readied myself that Friday morning, I caught a glance of myself in the huge hotel mirror. Literally, my scars not only scared me but also surprised me! My scars from past surgeries were so prominent and prevalent. Sure, I knew the scars were there, but on today–they brought out all sorts of insecurities from what I’d been through and from who I was on the surface.
My immediate thought was “I’ll forever be unmarried. No one will be able to handle these scars.”
Realizing that time was far spent and I needed to get downstairs to the conference, I made a mental note to ask the question ‘Can you handle my scars?”
Between sessions, I grabbed a quick meditative moment and something hit me. Just as those physical scars can be a deterrent for many potential suitors, so can our mental, emotional and/or spiritual scars. Past hurts, betrayals, disappointments, and trials are all the results of wounds that have tried to heal; however, when healing doesn’t take place, those wounds will still cause discomfort.
In the present, this discomfort manifests itself in the form of trust issues. If someone has misused our trust in the past and the wound is not healed, it can certainly hurt our present.
Take children for an example. Children fall and injure themselves quite often. The first thing children want after an accident or being hurt is a band-aid right?
Ouch! So do adults!!!!
We may not apply a physical band-aid, but we use food, work, children, busyness, a new mate, etc.-to comfort us, to make us feel better, to give us some semblance of wound protection.
We throw ourselves head first into things in an attempt to “speed up” the healing process, when in all actuality what you are doing is prolonging the process, by ignoring it.
As kids, whenever we had a scrape or wound, I remember my great grandmother telling us to let it breathe; fresh air promotes healing.
You can’t heal things that you keep covered up. If at any point your scars provoke a painful response, you haven’t healed and you need to examine your healing process.
Remember that question I was gonna ask? It changed.
The question was no longer “Can YOU handle my scars?” It was now “Can I handle my own scars?”
I had to face it. My healing process had been paused.
So how was I going to move forward in the process? How could I heal?
I had to do the work to promote the healing.
Scars, albeit unsightly, are ours and we must own them. We can’t allow them to define us. Instead, we must allow them to develop us.
We must allow those scars to serve as lessons which promote our healing, maturity, and growth….
It’s time to tackle that elephant in the room…“Can you handle your own scars?”
As I was doing “my work” I found this resource from Joyce Meyer to be very valuable. I hope you do too.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
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