Having a big heart can feel like a blessing…and a curse.
I understand how much you embrace it, protect it…even run away sometimes to keep from showing it. It can feel like you’re cut from a different cloth…a cloth woven with threads of love, compassion, kindness, and selflessness. It’s not that you’re perfect, you make mistakes like everyone else, but you’re wired differently. You may even struggle with your emotions from time to time, desperate to put a harness on the open nature of your heart.
Having a big heart is unique, and if you have one, I’m sure you agree…but what if you’re not sure?
Here Are 3 Signs That You My Friend Have a BIG Heart:
1. You Feel Things Differently
Let’s see how I can explain this one. Ok, let’s say your best friend’s brother recently passed away and you’re headed to her home for the first time since the funeral. You’ve been upset and depressed for two days over her certain grief.
Dressed in your plainest clothes, no makeup, and armed with comforting scriptures, you arrive only to find your friend in full MAC makeup, dressed to the nines, and looking suprisingly… happy. She greets you with the biggest hug and cheerily says, “Hey girl, what’s up?”.
Is this for real? What’s wrong with this picture? Surely, she must be supressing her feelings. You awkwardly hug her and tell her that you just wanted to stop by and offer your support. She says thanks, but she is doing just fine and has accepted that her brother is no longer in pain and is now in a better place.
You are kind of in shock.
I bet this example made you laugh a little. Why? Well… in some way, you probably recognized yourself. Having a big heart is certainly different. You’re very sensitive and hate when people are hurting, often absorbing their perceived emotions as your own. Unfortunately, sometimes what you think THEY are feeling is only how YOU would feel. It’s nice to show care and concern, but be careful not to exhaust your own spirit in another person’s hardships.
2. You Forgive What Others Won’t
Throughout my life, I’ve felt the need to forgive others. Why? Because Jesus forgives me. Not a bad thing right? It certainly isn’t an easy thing to do, but I usually feel better after squashing a beef and mending what was broken.
Most of us will hurt or offend someone we care about at some point in our lives, just as most of us can remember wanting to be forgiven, yet never receiving that forgiveness.
Not a good feeling is it?
When you’ve got a big heart, it’s hard to not forgive. It eats you up. Another person might be perfectly fine with tossing a relationship to the wind and never speaking again. You, however, believe that you need to forgive, even if it’s just for your own peace of mind.
Why? Well in your eyes, it’s the right thing to do…period.
The danger in this is not being able to discern when to permanently remove yourself from a toxic relationship. If you find yourself consistently having to forgive someone, then that relationship needs to be re-evaluated. It might be a hard pill to swallow, but think about it. How much can a person really care about you if they continue to hurt you after you’ve made your feelings known?
Having a big heart can cause you to see the good in EVERYBODY. Seeing people through this type of lens can produce some of the best relationships you may ever encounter. I’ve met some amazing people who were initially presented to me with a proceed at your own risk disclaimer. My belief has always been to find out for myself. I suppose it works out just fine…most of the time.
Occasionally, seeing the good in everyone can cause you to welcome folks into your life who have no business being there. Sometimes people need to complete a season of growth within their own lives, before they can enter yours.
Use discernment. Don’t allow your need to see the “potential” in people get you into a difficult situation.
3. You Give Too Much and Expect Too Little
In your friendships and relationships, you give till it hurts…..literally. When you have a big heart, it’s second nature to want to see others happy. You enjoy picking up surprise gifts, buying someone lunch, or taking time away from your busy schedule to help a friend.
However, you can get so accustomed to doing for others, that you don’t allow anyone to take care of you. You may even feel guilty for asking the smallest of favors.
When you give like this, especially with no reciprocation, relationships can feel one sided. It’s rare to meet someone with a heart size to match your own. It’s not about expecting something in return, but we have to be careful being selfless in a selfish world. It doesn’t require much, but you need to see that the people you invest your heart and time into, care about you as well.
When you have a big heart, take the time to assess how much you are giving and if you are giving to the right thing or person.
Your heart is special so try to not get frustrated with it; listen to your spirit and give when it feels right. If you start to feel burdeoned or resentful in your giving, learn to listen to your heart, step back, and make sure you are loving and nurturing yourself first.
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