Are you still asleep? I hope I didn’t wake you but I really wanted to share something with you.
This morning started off no different than any other morning…or so I thought.
First of all, I was up pretty late last night gathering Christmas tree decorations and cleaning my place. I was determined to have my tree up today, no matter what. Yep, today was the first morning in a while, that did not require my juggling work, school, kids, and blogging.
So, I slept pretty well and woke up to my mind racing through all of the tasks I planned to accomplish today.
As I opened my eyes, sounds from my TV were lightly playing and I could vaguely hear Dr. Phil talking to one of the guests on his show. You know, the Dr. Phil show; the one where Dr. Phil, a clinical psychologist, helps people from various backgrounds solve their toughest problems.
I reached over, grabbed my remote and turned up the volume. In a second motion, I reached for my cell phone so I could catch up on any important emails, check my Facebook page for notifications, and of course, check my current blog stats from Google Analytics. I mean, isn’t that what most people do first thing in the morning?
That was sarcasm, just in case you didn’t catch it.
So, as I began to open my emails, I was gripped by a sudden pang of conviction. I immediately put my cell phone back onto the bedside table. Uh Oh, what’s going on God?
I wait but I don’t “hear” anything so I grab my phone once more and proceed with checking my email.
This time, I can almost hear God’s audible voice in my head. I can’t really explain it but I’ll try. I suppose it was as if He said to me, I love you and I want to bless your life with more gifts than you can imagine. However, in spite of your desire to see my presence in your life, you consistently start your day choosing the world over Me.
There was no more need for persuasion. Determined to listen, I put the phone down, muted the TV, got out of bed and made my way to a comfy spot on the bedroom floor. I sat down among a pile of soft pillows which were scattered about the floor… and I waited.
I’m not sure if it was a feeling of shame, fatigue, or what, but I couldn’t figure out where to begin. I just knew that I needed to begin the day with God. I needed to be able to “hear” what He was trying to tell me.
So I began with this.
“Father God, I don’t know where to begin. The only thing I know is that I desire to spend more moments with you. I come to you asking for….”
then I stopped…
Then I said out loud, “Hold up God, I wanna start over.”
Yep, I sure did.
so I began again…
“Father God, I thank you for everything you have done and continue to do for me and my family. I complain about being tired, student loans, bills, and my 07 Honda Accord, yet I want for nothing. You provide food, clothing, a roof over our heads and I can drive wherever I need to go. God, you have supplied my needs, just as you promised in Your Word…
By the way, here’s that scripture for you guys,
Philippians 4:19King James Version (KJV)
19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
I continued to pray and the words began to flow. I won’t divulge the rest of my prayer here but I am getting to a point, I promise.
See, God was revealing some important things to me this morning. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always been thankful for what God has provided for me, yet somehow, I had become lukewarm about my praise…my acknowledgment of his grace and favor over my life.
I had become preoccupied with blog stats, checking emails, grad school stress, and general life; so much so that my talks with God were fast becoming a side-bar conversation. Sure, I was still talking to Him, but I frequently rescheduled our meetings. I’d say to God, “I’ll get back to you after I check these emails or after I get off work today.” I’d say, “God, you know my heart, I was so tired this morning and I didn’t make time to meet with you, but I will on tomorrow.”
Well, God reminded me today that tomorrow is not promised.
Just maybe I was struggling with my blog because I hadn’t been consulting with Him about which direction to take.
Maybe it’s okay to wake up in the morning and check my emails and notifications AFTER I’ve given the first moments of the day to God.
He also reminded me that I don’t need to know exactly what to say when I meet with Him either. God just wants me to talk to him, kind of like a child receiving a pep talk from a loving and caring father before his or her big day.
My overall AHA moment?
I’m imperfect but I’m perfect in his sight. He’s not judging my prayer technique. I am.
He hasn’t removed his presence from my life, I just stopped inviting him over each morning. God loves me and He wants me to come to Him first…for EVERYTHING.
Yeah, I know we forget, we get busy, and it’s genuinely hard to do sometimes. I struggle too and I fall short…daily.
But seriously, when was the last time you put God as the first client of your day? When you did, did you reschedule His appointment? Is it time to pencil Him back in? Is social media, work, or other life stress hindering your relationship with God?
I believe it is important for us to pay attention when God is trying to tell us something. Mute the TV, turn off the phone, take a walk…just find a way to sit in utter silence and “hear” what God is saying.
Feeling unworthy? I get it.
No, you’re not perfect and you don’t have to be. None of us are. Often the best interactions with God are unscripted, raw, teary, and…yep you guessed it….IMPERFECT.
Thank you for listening and allowing me to share my story with you this morning.
I have an idea; let’s make a deal. You pray for me, I’ll pray for you and we’ll work to be the light we wish to see in this world.
Oh, one last thing,
I already woke you up, so maybe you can go talk to Him now, just for a moment.
Hey, it’s a start and that’s all it takes.
Talk to you later,